Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
