2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
