Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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