dude i'm inner monologue high
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have fence marks all over my body
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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