We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she told me i tasted like america
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
