mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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