I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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