I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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