And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
