wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
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