Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
