We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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