I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
