i was born a porn star she said
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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