I need to stop coming to work sober
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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