I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
