Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
