why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
