make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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