She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
MIDGETS
????
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
