It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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