My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
