Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
