i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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