i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
