so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
