So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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