She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
