five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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