Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I want to be your penis for a week.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
