I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
