I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
