East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
