You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
