She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
