we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
