If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
