i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
