got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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