Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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