I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
