I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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