Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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