I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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