I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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