About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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