It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
