I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize