I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
