what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
